Life update!

Ciao,

 

I thought since I haven't been blogging for the past few months that I would write an overview of the past few months, just to record all the little things that I feel are important to remember.

 

1. I am having surgery on 10th July to remove my wisdom teeth at long last! I have been plagued by toothache and infection for the past 2 years due to the three demonic wisdom teeth which have grown through. The first one grew through at the wrong angle meaning it wore a massive hole into the side of my mouth every time I moved my mouth. The second has grown through the wrong way and is effectively lying down meaning the tooth in front is at risk of decay and the third tooth has grown in most of the way but is still fairly covered by gum meaning no matter how well I brush my teeth I get infections every few months where food gets lodged inside. Gross. I have had a fear of dentists since I was little when I had two bad experiences and therefore the constant visits to the dentist in the past 2 years have not been fun for me. I am being put to sleep under a general anaesthetic and having all 3 removed. I can't wait!

 

2. Last week I smashed my iPhone screen! WAHHHHH! I dropped my phone onto my foot which hurt a lot, after hitting my foot it hit my tiled kitchen floor and smashed my screen into smithereens. Annoyingly I have dropped my phone onto concrete, down stairs and literally thrown it across a room by accident and it has never broken, the one time it hits my foot it smashes. Just my luck.

 

3. I have decided not to take my driving test again until the winter...I will reveal why in my next post. Ooooo secrets!

 

4. I am still attempting to lose weight and get fit. I have joined the gym and am attempting to go regularly. The weight loss has not been dramatic, in fact I haven't lost weight but I haven't gained either. I feel as if I have lost inches and feel my body is slowly changing and this is fine by me. I have accepted that I will not have my perfect beach body by my holiday to Turkey in August but to be perfectly honest there are bigger problems in the world and I don't really care!!

 

5. I am very proud of my best friend Hayley who is graduating from Roehampton University this summer with a 2:1 in Modern Languages. She is then moving to Barcelona in September to begin her Masters!

 

6. Very excitingly one of my close friends is expecting her second baby. YAY! I need a newborn fix and am so excited to meet the new addition in December. My bet is that its a boy!

 

7. My little sister completed her GCSE's and has now left school. I am so proud of her it's crazy, she started her exams only weeks after my Dad passed away and I think she is so inspiring. She revised like crazy and I can't wait to count the amount of A*'s and A's she will get in August. My Dad would be so proud. She also went to prom which was so lovely, I may do a separate post on this as I was very involved in getting her ready.

 

I think this is pretty much all the things which have happened in the last 2 months which I am excited about and want to record. A post on the next few months is coming soon...

 

Ciao for now...  

The Worst Post Ever.

Ciao,

I have been absent from ye olde bloggersphere for about 2 and a half months. I have thought about writing this post so many times in the last few weeks but I couldn't bring myself to actually sit down and type the words.

Sadly, on 9th April my wonderfully strong Dad lost his battle with Cancer and passed away. I still cant quite put into words how I feel about this and how I'm coping with losing such a monumental person in my life. It has been a very strange few months, I returned to work 2 weeks after he passed away and have in many ways gone back to 'normal' life. Although what is normal life? And really how normal can your life ever be when you have experienced something as traumatic as a parent dying? To be honest when I think about it I felt my entire life shift and change the day I found out my Dad had Cancer and again a week later when I found out it couldn't be cured. Everything changed for me in that moment, both my immediate future and my distant future changed in a way I never expected. I'd never understood what people really meant by 'time stood still' or when they say that you can relive a memory with such clarity and detail that it feels completely real as if you're reliving it. I'd never understood that until those moments, and time really does stand still and I can remember many moments of my life over the past 6 months with such detail that it's scary. In these moments I can honestly say that I felt my mindset change and I truly believe that I will never be the person I was a year ago again.

 

June has been a really hard month and will be every year for the rest of my life. Fathers Day always falls in June and is always near to my Dad's birthday which was yesterday. It's hard everyday to deal with the absence of someone in your life but it's especially hard on special days like birthdays. I found yesterday very difficult, in a way I am extremely angry that my Dad didn't reach his 51st birthday or any of the subsequent birthdays. He was too young to be taken away, just like so many others who have Cancer. I try as hard as I can to stay positive and keep moving forward, just like my Dad wanted me to, but on days like birthdays and Fathers day it's difficult to see past your grief and sadness.

 

I am sure I will post more on my Dad and how I am dealing with my grief. There are also events which happened around his death which I want to record as I am afraid I'll forget them but I will save that for another post.

 

I love you always Daddy.

 

Ciao for now...