Today marks a month since a day I couldn't have conjured up in my darkest nightmares.
Today marks a month since the day I found out my Dad has cancer that can't be cured.
I can't really explain what it feels like to have your worst nightmare come true or to feel your own and your families lives shatter into a million pieces, I guess if it's ever happened to you then you know what I mean. I can't possibly describe how my whole life shifted and changed on that day, in mere seconds. How I shifted and changed. How my whole future is now a giant question mark. I can't even bare the thought that this ugly disease will take my Dad like it has so many others. I guess I can't handle a whole lot right now and though this month has been the darkest of my life so far I am trying my utmost to keep going. There are good moments but there are also moments like these where I am consumed by sadness, dragged under by crippling fear and I worry that one day I will have a dark moment like this that I can't get back from.
This blog was started with the intention of documenting the best and most adventurous year of my life so far, my year abroad. Instead it will most likely document some of the worst and lowest points. Life is a roller coaster I suppose and right now I am plunging into a black hole and as of yet I haven't found the light at the end.
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